Yes, you do. An online connection keeps you up to date on what other people are doing, and the real relationship gets built when you’re in the same room. I think about it like cement. The online community is the bag of cement mix, and when you add the water, that’s where it becomes real.
If you work from home like I do, you need to leave the cave at least once next week.
Why doesn’t Zoom build relationships the way a real room does?
Part of it is the technology. When two people talk at the same time on Zoom, the audio cuts off and you can’t hear one another. So it has to be I’m talking, then you’re talking, and that doesn’t feel natural.
There’s also very little body language online. In a real room you can see who really agrees with you, who has something to add, and who isn’t liking what you’re saying.
What am I missing when every meeting is online?
When you have a Zoom meeting, there’s no before and after. And sometimes when you’re in person, the before and after is the very best part.
A Zoom meeting starts at 2 and ends at 3, and then somebody says, “I’ve got a 3:00, I’ve got to go.” We schedule Zoom meetings to fit between other meetings. When you go somewhere in person, you get there a couple of minutes early and BS with whoever’s there. When it’s over, maybe you can hang around.
This week, after a brainstorming meeting with one of my mastermind groups, we did a lot of hanging around. We ate the leftover snacks and talked about our weekend plans. One member has a cabin way up north, and we got into how long that drive is. We just got to know each other better. That shoulder time doesn’t happen in Zoom meetings.
What do you really learn about people in person?
I took another mastermind group out to dinner recently, and I learned one of the members is an appetizer freak. Her family loves getting appetizers, so we let her pick. I had fried pickles for the first time, and as much as I thought they’d be bad, those fried pickles were good.
I learned another member has a tattoo with a big meaning in their family life. They also used to own and run a restaurant, and they do nothing of the sort now. Never would have known that in a Zoom meeting.
Somebody else had just played in a golf tournament. Another was watching the World Cup games with her husband, who’s from Brazil. It was this awesome exchange of our real life.
Is an in-person meeting worth the time it takes?
When you do a lot of your business online, you pack your schedule so tight that an in-person meeting feels like a big deal. You’ve got to put on real pants. You’ve got to compute the driving time there and back, and pad everything around it.
It can feel inefficient. It can feel like, “I just wish this was a Zoom meeting.” That’s how I feel before every one of those meetings.
And when I leave those meetings, every single time, I just feel better. I learn stuff about the people who are there. I feel seen and valued. I feel like things are going great and I’m headed in the right direction. It recharges my battery.
What if I’m an introvert?
I’m not the biggest extrovert in person, and I’m kind of an introvert actually. But when I get around other people, it just makes me feel good.
I do my work from my house in PJ pants, and I love it. I love the connections I’ve made online. As much as I’d love to say it’s the same as being in the same room, I can’t say that.
What should I do this week?
Here’s the homework. Look at next week’s calendar. Are you leaving the cave at least once to meet with business partners, clients, or other owners? If the answer is no, get something on the calendar today.
Invite someone to lunch. Or go to a networking event you hadn’t planned on going to. Put on those real pants and leave the cave. It really will pay off.
This came from Businessing with Pat Miller. Watch the full July 1, 2026 episode.